Sunday, May 20

(My Life a Journal Entry)

 "Waking up this morning, I smile. Twenty-four hours are before me. I vow to live fully in each moment and look at all beings with eyes of compassion."-Thich Nhat Hanh

Sunrise over the Mississippi River

Over the last month I have been taught more about life then I thought I needed to know. I was content where I was 29 days ago. I had gone on believing that I had finally arrived to where I would stay. However, fate has other plans for me.  I should not be the only one to learn a lesson, I hope that he realizes that the grass is the same shade of green on either side of the fence, but his side is going to be lonelier. 

In the end I have discovered that I don’t love being alone, but I can survive. I have learned that anger is a part of me, but I do not have to allow anger to be all of me. I learned very quickly to let go of the hate because it was hurting me more than him. Burning bridges is what he has done, but I have learned that will power keeps people from crossing back and respect keeps your past on good terms. He will never be able to come to me for help.  When everything is on the line, it is those past bridges we have crossed where support can be found in a time of need.  I have amazing friends who have been by my side this entire time. I regrettably never appreciated the people around me until I needed them, and they were there. I have become more mindful of me, which is incredibly self-centered and very gratifying. Until I figure out who I am and where I am going it is going to be all about me living in the here and now. I am going to go on all kinds of kick ass adventures,  catch up with old friends, read all the books on the shelf, knock off some of those bucket list items, and work harder than ever before to become something more.   Until I figure out things I will “Just keep swimming.” I expect I have more to learn.

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